Grace for a 2 Year Old

I witnessed something yesterday, something that made my little mommy heart just break because I think for the very first time I was truly disappointed in my 2 and a half year old son. (And I think the level of sadness and disappointment is so strong because I myself am a sinner and have similarly done to others what I am about to tell you he did...)

We were at my sister's house yesterday for Father's Day and overall had a great time. Caleb was playing with his 5 year old cousin Bella pretty much the whole time and loving it. They are both strong-willed children with an innate tendency to lead, so watching and listening to them play is pretty funny when they both want to tell each other how it should be - Caleb usually concedes to Bella b/c she is the stronger leader being older, wiser (and the simple fact that he looks up to her). Anyway, for a moment last night I saw how much little ones can pick up on tones, moods and weaknesses. Bella was sitting on her knees on the floor b/c her dad was giving her instruction about something (I dont recall what). It wasnt really even discipline, just a "Bella, you need to listen about...such and such." In that moment, Caleb picked up on the fact that for once he wasnt receiving instruction, so in that moment when he felt strong (and she was vulnerable to her dad's tone), Caleb ran over and kicked her right in the head!

I was floored! The act was sinful and cruel - I saw it in his eyes and knew it in his spirit. Naturally, I talked to him, spanked him and made him apologize, but later I talked with Brian and really realized what had happened. Caleb (literally )kicked her while she was down, to build himself up! In his two year old mind, he felt on top of the world b/c he saw his cousin being talked to and had to show off his pride that he wasnt. Maybe I am over analyzing some playful fun between cousins, but I dont think so. We all have selfish desires and an instinct to place ourselves first above others and at two years old, that is what my son did. I cant say I am any different - (have I ever kicked someone in the head to build myself up?). No, but, I identify so well with the heart and mind Caleb took on in that moment.

Paul writes this in his letter to the Galatians: "So I say live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want....But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control....Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires." (verses 16-17, 22-24)

Thank you Lord for the cross and for your everlasting grace upon my life. Help me live by the fruits of the Spirit when mothering my kids and living my life.