Inadequate at Best

I would say I am a generally happy person - I am filled with the Holy Spirit and have the joy of the Lord! But becoming a mommy to three little people has simply happened to me (and happened fast!). I no longer live only for the responsibility of only me, but I have three little hearts who depend solely on Brian and me to give them nourishment, time and love. Three little mouths to feed, three little bottoms to clothe, three sets of hands to wash and three little (big) temperaments to calm and restore on a daily basis.

It can really get the best of me - and sad to say, it usually does. I so desire to be this "supermom" - to have time AND energy for everything, but when I look at the messy kitchen floor or the piles of dirty laundry or Caleb whining for his sippy cup of chocolate soy milk or the twins screaming for yet one more thing that they have to scream for b/c they cant talk - I just lose it! I am not even close to a supermom - I am inadequate at best. I have never been to known to have a temper, but I find myself yelling at Caleb more than ever, raising my voice to Tessa and Jacob, desiring an answer as to why they are crying this time! And all for what? What does that solve - where does that get me? It only upsets the three tiny little hearts I give nourishment, time and love to. I need so much help in the area of patience.

I hate that my break for the day is work, but it is. I miss my kids and hubby all day, but when the late afternoon comes and we all get home, all hell breaks loose b/c someone needs attention, someone needs a bottle, everyone is hungry, someone needs to pick up, a phone call needs to be made, someone needs a snack, etc. I have this ideal of what I want my day to look like when I get home from work, but it never quite translates correctly!

I guess this is what life is all about and you take those special moments and cherish them b/c one day I suppose I will miss the demands of little hands, when they are no longer under my roof. When I can no longer feed their mouths or clothe their bottoms or wash their hands or calm their tempers. Thank you Lord for this season in my life - the season when you have made me a mommy. Thank for you the moments when I feel inadequate - I know then that I need your strength, peace and patience to push me along.

I Need to Jam to the Music!

On the way home from preschool the other day I took a call from Brian, so I turned down the music to hear. All of the sudden Caleb is screaming something from the backseat and I cant make out what it is. The intensity of his voice increases, so now I think he is hurting or in trouble or something, so I tell Brian I will see him at home so I can give all my attention to Caleb. Well, after asking him two more times, I finally realize what he is saying, "Mommy, I need to jam to the music!"

I quickly turned the volume back up and I see his large head "jamming" to the beat of Mercy Me in my rear view mirror! What a precious moment. He always has loved his music. In fact, he insisted on watching one of his Bluegrass DVDs this morning. But he had to find just the right one. He said, "Mommy, I want to watch Vince Gill." I love my little music monster!! :)

Funny Bugs & Princesses

Caleb began his new class for the Fall at The Little Gym last night. I was slightly apprehensive b/c we decided to move him up to the 3-4 year old class (nicknamed the Funny Bugs!). My little fearless jumper/climber is ready for more of a challenge, but when you graduate to the 3-year old class, you lose out on having mom and dad in the giant room with you. Well, he did AMAZING! It was such an emotional moment for me, watching his new teacher take his hand and lead him into the room with kids who just tower over him. Caleb wont be three until the beginning of November, but after watching him listen and follow directions for the entire hour, the Director and new teachers all agreed that he is definitely ready! I was so proud and so excited watching him attempt all the new tricks. He only had one little stumble that called for a mom kiss and drink of water, but right back into the giant gym, he went! Grandpa got to the be there too, for his first class as a Funny Bug.

So this morning, I am in my usual "running late" mode trying to get three kids ready for preschool and myself ready for work. Caleb has been waking up at 5:30 a.m. for months now so trying to keep him occupied for 2.5 hours in the morning is a challenge. One of the last things I had to do this morning before walking out the door was put on some bottoms! Caleb walked in my room and was really getting ancy so I put him on the task of finding mommy some pants. After a few choices that were not even close to matching the shirt I had on (bless his heart), I picked out a white skirt and said "what about this?" He saw this skirt, and said "Mommy, you look like a princess!" My heart just melted! I have the sweetest little Peety in the world!!

SURPRISE!

We just returned home yesterday morning from Michigan where paid a surprise visit to Brian's mom for her birthday! It was really nice - we stayed eight nights and nine days and the weather was just incredible. We spent time outside every day and night going on walks, swimming, playing at the park, roasting marshmallows around a fire pit, at the Detroit Zoo, the Big Rig Gig and just sitting in the beautifully manicured kelly green lawns of the mid-west. No ants, no heat, no worries. But the itchy mosquito bites I brought home with me - I could surely do without.

The plane rides there are back were interesting. Brian and I each with a twin on our laps and a Caleb in the middle! I definitely saw the inside of the airplane bathroom more on this trip than I have in my entire life as a flyer. I think towards the end Caleb realized that if he told me he had to go pee pee, it allowed him out of his seat and ability to run the aisles - smart little beast he is! Apparently even The Sandlot loses its appeal on the portable DVD player after 20th time or so....

Poor little bugger (Jacob) got Roseola on the trip. He broke out in a high fever for a few days and we all thought he was just teething until the hundreds of tiny pink bumps appeared all over his trunk. I had heard about this from my sister a few years back, but called my ped. to give her the symptoms just to make sure and sure enough, she confirmed my suspicion. There is nothing you can do as it is a virus, but I really felt bad for the little guy b/c he has been extra fussy the last 4-5 days. As I mentioned in a previous post, he just doesnt like to be away from home. This is our last trip for a while! Traveling with infants is NOT EASY!

I am so glad I have in-laws I adore. I had a such a great time and they all loved seeing their grandkids, niece & nephews. I hope can get back there one more time before the twins turn two - still fly for free under two!