I Got a Bam!

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Berner, Caleb got his very first video game - and as an early birthday present. I was actually okay with this because it is a knock-off of the Nintendo Wii, with only sports games that actually have you standing, swinging, coordinating, etc. He really loves it and is starting to get quite good.

Well, last night Caleb and I were bowling against each other and he was kicking my butt! The kid can throw right down the middle. Well, each time he rolled a strike, he would call out "Wow, I got a bam!" The graphic that comes up on the screen shows an explosion of pins with the word "strike" with an exclamation mark, so I guess in his mind, it looks like a BAM. So cute, and I know Brian was proud, seeing as he is quite the bowler. Perhaps his legacy will live out in Caleb.

Quick Updates

Dear, dear, long lost blog. I havent forgotten about you, just been super side-tracked with lots of things. I really need to update the pictures on here as we are coming up on them being a year old. I cant believe Caleb will be four in less than two months!

We are doing well, but boy are these times testing! The past few months have been really hard on Brian and I trying to manage and stay patient with a very strong-willed, needy for attention three year old and 19 month old twins.

Jacob picked up a biting habit (in a worse way than Caleb ever did), so much so that we have taken him down from 5 days a week at daycare, to just 2 days a week. Its not just biting, but a little bit of hitting, pinching and throwing stuff! This has been very stressful for me and often leaves me wondering...what am I doing wrong, or does Jacob just not understand that what he is doing is wrong? Is there something wrong? I have had many tear-filled days over the past few months, but God has sustained me. I have been avoiding writing it out b/c I just dont want to deal with it, but this is reality. He is just the sweetest child, giving hugs and kisses and saying "Mommy & Daddy" with big smiles. Thank you God for giving me my precious Jacob!!

Tessa is the most angelic creature God ever made! Her new phrase is "I dont know" and her favorite color is "Le-lellow". So cute. She always wants to help Brian and I clean up in the kitchen after meals, so her favorite things to "play" with right now is a paper towel. If you even attempt to take it away (as Jacob loves to do, just to mess with her) the cry she lets out makes you think you just killed her dog. She is so possesive over the paper towel. And dont even get me started on shoes. Nothing makes her happier than bringing all of us our shoes or taking her shoes on and off and on and off.

My realtionship with Caleb just keeps getting better and better as he gets older. It seems that I just fall in love with him more and more week by week. When I was pregnant with him, I just knew deep in my heart that God would give me a son as a first-born. I wanted a little boy so bad, and God blessed me with the most beautiful, sweet, fun, energetic, compassionate child. He just started doing this thing with his nose where he crinkles it up when he talks. It just came out of nowhere, but it is so cute. I dont think he knows he's doing it, but Brian and I think it makes him look a little bit older. He is thriving in preschool and really loving it!

Well, that about all for now. We need prayer for strength and patience. The twins seem to throw about 10 fits a day, Caleb is whinny, but of course it is all worth it. God is good all the time. Proverbs 3:5-6

Hockey is for Father & Son

Family Photo

I'm laughing with you! My favorite part is Tessa's rooster hairdo!!

My New Favorite Song : Uncommon, Greg Long & Kristy Starling

What if there's something bigger for me out there
Than the comfort of a life on this middle ground
I've played it safe but now I can't help but wonder
If maybe I've been missing out
'Cause I look around and see a sea of people
Everybody's moving in the same direction
And I think it's time for me to break away, break away

I want to finally take the road less traveled
I want to run away from anything typical
I want the world to see the life I'm living
And call it uncommon

What if the right thing was harder than the wrong thing
But I did it anyway
Standing strong even when no one else was watching
What if I really lived that way
Every heart has its defining moment
This is mine and I'm not gonna miss it

I don't care if it makes me look different
I'm never letting go of my conviction
Let the world see the life I'm living
And call it uncommon

I'm done with the easy way out
I'm done with the easy way out
Done with the easy way out
With the easy way out

What if I made it to the end of my days here
Only to find that my legacy was nowhere to be found
I don't want to waste another second
Give me the strength to start right now
Right now, right now, right now, right now, right now,

Right now.. I take the road less traveled
I want to run away from anything typical
I want the world to see the life I'm living
And call it uncommon
I don't care if it makes me look different
I'm never letting go of my conviction
Let the world see the life I'm living
And call it uncommon
Uncommon
Call it uncommon
I'm done with the easy way out

So Proud of My Little Fish!

Through the Wilderness

I have not posted in about a month, but truthfully it is because I have had my head in my Bible almost constantly, getting encouragement, comfort and love from our awesome God.

Brian is doing great and I am more in love than ever. Caleb is the apple of my eye and my little sweet man in every way. Tessa has developed quite a little attitude, shaking her head no every time I ask for a kiss, but as sweet as pie none the less. Jacob is at my feet all the time (a true mommy's boy), gives lots of hugs, yet has a lovely problem biting his friends at daycare. I keep telling Brian he has a split personality! :)

As for me, if you are reading this, please throw up a prayer for me. I am learning that life is not always smiles and rainbows - even for me, the joyful, spunky Alyssa that you have always known. Daily I am relying on God's strength, power and goodness to get me through. As I look at the direction of our truly corrupt world, I rest in the promise of Jesus' imminent return - he WILL be here soon! Jesus said to his disciples: "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." AMEN!

Training Wheel Defeat!

Last night after dinner, we went on our traditional family walk. Caleb decided to hop on his two-wheeler (with training wheels) as he has so many times in the past several months, but this time he actually took off down the street...riding as if he had been doing it for years! It was awesome! When he first got the bike, his little legs were too short to reach, but he has been capable of riding now for the past 6 months, I would say. He just hasnt pedaled forward - he wasnt "getting it!"

I have to say that Brian and I were a little sentimental watching him cruise up and down the sidewalks in our neighborhood. It is quite amazing watching your kids accomplish even the smallest of things. Not that this feat was small - it clearly was challenging for him, considering it took him 6 months to put the pedal to the medal!! I cant wait to watch him for it tonight!

Holy Crap!

Tessa ate her own poop! (no this is NOT the picture of it, just a cute pic of her, thanks, Ginger!). So gross, I know - ahhhh, gag! Picture the most adorable, sweet, giving, loving 15 month old - and picture her diving into her own feces and eating it!!

Thursday night we got all three out of the bath and I let Tessa run off into Caleb's room as we got the other two dressed for bed. She was being quiet and happy, and actually looking back to play peek-a-boo with us, so I thought all was well - and she was just occupying her sweet self. Well the quietness revealed itself a few minutes later as she trampled poop across the living room floor. At first I just thought, oh no, she pooped, let me clean her up. Well, as she approached me, I saw the poop all over her pacifier. The horror that I felt is indescribable!!

I did laugh through cleaning it up though - I remember my nana telling me that my dad ate poop as a kid and one of my friend's daughters did the same at about a year old. I knew she would survive, by all means and I knew she most likely wouldnt even get sick. But, that is just plain gross and a story that we will be re-told for years to come!

I Wanna Go To Heaven, Mommy

As I was strapping Caleb into his car seat yesterday morning, he blulrted out with a genuinely sad tone, "Mommy I wanna to go to heaven. I have been waiting a long, long time to go to heaven."

Not as long as me, honey!! :) Nontheless, tremendously adorable - and even at 3, he recognizes that this is not our home. Praise God!!

All That I Can Say...

Lord I'm tired So tired from walking And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark Is creeping in Creeping up To swallow me
I think I'll stop Rest here a while

Chorus: And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give, that's my everything

Lord didn't You see me cry'n? And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to? I wish You'd remember Where you sat it down

Chorus: And this is all that I can say right now, i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.

Bridge: I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that That was You washing my feet

And this is all This is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything.
This is all that I can say right now, oh i know it's not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah that's my everything..
yeah that's my everything.. yeah that's my everything.. everything...

Thanks, David Crowder. Thanks, Adam!

He's Ready for the Ice!

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

In church this weekend our Children's Ministry ran the services. At one point in the message one of the speakers, and a friend of mine, Carey, had the lyrics to Jesus Loves Me up on the screen. She had all of us sing it out loud to resonate how much Jesus truly does love us, and realize that timeless song is not just for kids in a Sunday School class.

As I sang the words, I just bowed my head and let the words penetrate my heart. I know deep down that Jesus loves me, but I think so often I get caught up in him loving everyone else and forgot how much those words in our incredible are for ME too! I fill my thoughts with my kids and how fearfully and wonderfully made they are. I forget that Jesus loves me, too, just as much as he loves my babies. I am a child of God!

Jesus Loves Me This I know
For the Bible Tells Me So
Little Ones to Him Belong
They are Weak But He is Strong
Yes Jesus Loves Me
Yes Jesus Loves Me
Yes Jesus Loves Me
The Bible Tells Me So

Little Squirt!

Tessa is taking four to five steps at a time all the sudden! Last night she began and today it has continued. She is so adorable. I have begun calling her "my little squirt"! I know, I know, too dorky and I would have HATED anyone calling me anything of the sort when I was little, but I am her mommy so I can call her whatever I please :)

I mean c'mon, she is just barely over 28 inches tall - in the 7th percentile for her height (wonder why?) has the tiniest little hands and feet and every feature about her is just so petite. She is my little squirt, plain and simple.

I have actually been in terrible agony over her the past few months. So much so that I have made myself physically ill and have checked out mentally a few times. My family has suffered, my work has suffered and my heart has suffered. I wont go into specific detail except to say that God clearly gave me Tessa as one of his most precious blessings. She was given to me to teach me things, stretch my soul, make me laugh, make me cry and draw me closer to my Creator. It has been evident from the very first days of her life that God is using her existence to change me-and God is not through with me yet!

Thank you, Lord for the most perfect blessing of Tessa Jean Renee Peterson. I will always pray for her, and I will always believe you will do a miracle - just not yet sure who needs it more, her or me...

Walkin' on Sunshine...

Whoa, oh! Although I dont have a picture yet, Mr. Jacob began really walking across the room on Monday night, March 2nd! He is so adorable. Of course right now he walks with hands out to the side for balance, as I remember Caleb doing the same at first, too. I wonder what everything looks likes to him from this cool, new perspective. Right now he is doing about 50% walking 50% crawling, but in no time, the heel toe express will be his preferred method of transportation.

However, the cutest and sweetest thing in all of this is the fact that Tessa has decided she is not going to sit back and watch Jacob be triumphant without her! Little Miss Thing took four steps yesterday and cannot stop standing straight up from her sitting position. She is showing so much interest in walking that I think she will be taking off in about 1-2 weeks herself! This is so bittersweet for me! With all that I have been through emotionally and sickness wise with the twins, it is 99.9% certain we are done conceiving children, so all these "firsts" are also lasts. I do cherish everything. Now, if we could just get them to drink milk out of a sippy cup...

Dat?

So I have decided to devote this entire post to Jacob. He is without a doubt the "smiliest" baby of the bunch and when he gets a really wide one going, you just crack up because, as my father says, "the gap is so big that you could drive a train through his two front teeth!" But his teeth are just adorable!!!

Over the last two weeks or so, Jacob has discovered pointing and he is interested in EVERYTHING! Right now, his favorite thing to do is point to something and say "Dat?" It is so precious - you can tell he really just wants to know what everything is. And he just goes bananas over dogs. We were at the Surprise Park two weeks ago and of course there were lots of cuties on leashes. He just stared, pointed and crawled closer. He wanted to pet each one and would smile so big as they got closer. His other favorite word (and has been for several months) is dada. He sings dada all day - very cute. Mama will only appear at the end of the night when he is extremely tired and needs to be put to bed or when he doesnt feel good and needs TLC from me. But the thing that stinks is that due to these circumstances, mama is only echoed in a whine :( Dada is sung is praises while mama's getting the whiny shaft. I supposed that is okay though, b/c no one can comfort a child like a Mommy :)

On the physical side of things, Jacob Wayne Peterson began taking steps three weeks ago on February 7th! He wobbled kind of all day and ended up victorious with six in a row! woo hoo! But still has not gone farther than those six. Brian thinks it will be this week, and I kind of think so too. He was being quite adventurous this week. But he better hurry b/c Tessa is coming in right behind him. All of 27.5 inches tall, she can stand up from a sitting position with no help and she held onto my finger this weekend and walked all around. (So I gave Tessa a little plug, there!).

Quickly an update on the medical side of things...Jacob has had an ear infection since Feb. 9th that he just cant kick and we have been through three rounds of antibiotics - so tired of the drugs in my children - argh!!! So, Tessa is scheduled for tubes on April 1st and I am hoping to get him in the same day. My poor babies and these ear infections! The tubes did wonders for Caleb and I am praying that God will just take care of these angels, leading me to wisdom-filled decisions.

Right now, Caleb and Jacob are best friends. They make each other laugh and just have so much fun together. When the twins are too close, Jacob likes to take toys from Tessa, knock her over to get to where he wants to go and smack her on the head. What a little bully! They definitely have opposite personalities. But he is still my sweet little bugger who loves to give kisses, have daddy throw him on the couch and snuggle with mama!

Thanks, Abe!

Yesterday was a dream - it could not have gone any better. I was home all day with Caleb, Tessa and Jacob due to Presidents' Day, and although we did not reflect on the past accomplishments of our forefathers, we did have a fantastic day of playing, smiling and laughing! The twins didn't even fuss once all day - I am still in disbelief. Caleb was such a big helper and good boy for me. He kept the twins entertained while I cleaned up the kitchen after each meal and snack and he gave them lots of kisses and hugs. We had a blast!! I thank God for this amazing day with my children - especially since the last month has been so hard with Tessa being hospitalized for pneumonia and Jacob's croup and outrageous fevers.

God has really been tugging at heart through all this family sickness, reminding me that he is God and I most certainly am not. No matter the situation, God is in control. Even when it comes to my children...he lets me know that they really arent mine - they are His and I can freely relinquish them back into his loving arms after I have taken the burdens yet again. Learning, forgetting, remembering, knowing, releasing, taking and repeating...

Thank you, God for being patient with me. Thank you for your peace and unfailing love!

Can We Please Have a Re-Do?

So the twins turned one last week and last Sunday, we had a small family party at our house. Nothing fancy - just burgers, cake and balloons. Well, the twins hated EVERYTHING! They hated their food, they hated all the people, they even hated their cake. The only highlight was when we put them in the bath to clean off all the cake. But, of course the screaming commenced as they were being pulled from the water. What a disaster!!

I ask for the "re-do" because Monday morning rolls around and they were both complete angels. They have been complete angels since last Monday, in fact. I supposed the re-do will have to take place just about a year from now...And, I will save you all the misery of posting pictures, b/c all you would get is teary eyes and frowning faces.

Poor sweet Tessa is home today with brochiolitis - the second time this month. I hope it is just a fluke and the poor baby doesnt start having issues. She just always has something. I continually pray for God's healing on her body. The great news is that she gained a pound over the last 12 days. So, her official weight at one year is 17 pounds, 15 ounces. My little petite sweetie! (Side note: at one year, I weighed 17 pounds, 7 ounces). Like mother, like daughter!

Christmas Wrap-Up

Well, the month of December was obviously busy - both at home and work, due to the ONE post I published during the month. We had a blast during this holiday season! Caleb got to experience ice skating and the twins had their very first Christmas! Thank you to everyone for the great memories and thoughtful gifts for the kids! To sum it all up, here it is in pictures...

Caleb Ice Skating with Daddy in late December

"Go Tell It on the Mountain!" Caleb participating in his very first church Christmas Play on December 13th. (He is in the red shirt between the girls in teal and white)

"...A Savior has been born in Bethlehem...you will find Him lying in a manger..."

Tessa's first baby & Jacob rolling in the wrapping on Christmas Eve @ Nana & Papa's House!

MMMM! Wrapping Paper!

Candy Canes for everyone!

The Aftermath!