What I Miss, What I Know & Where I'm At

Oh, Paul was such a wise man:

"It is good for a man not to marry...I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband ((and kids), parentheses mine.). I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (His first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 7, verses 1 & 32-35).

In my immature, three and a half years of marriage (with three kids to boot), I am finding this passage that Paul wrote so many years ago to be not only true, but genius! I suppose Paul can write such a thing since he was once married (although that is up for debate among Bible scholars, and I am not going to pretend to be one of them - I just think it clarifies his ex-matrimony b/c he had such wisdom in knowing it is better to not be married. How could he make such a claim unless he had experienced both?).

My point here is that I miss the time I was able to spend with God when I was single, even married for that matter. I am so consumed every minute of every day with my precious kids, my sweet husband, household chores, grocery shopping, what to make for dinner, paying bills, DISCIPLINE, etc. that it leaves little or no time for catching up with my Savior. I am drained, tested and tired all the time. But would I change anything about my life? No way! I know and believe that my life has taken shape this way b/c of God's amazing blessing on me. And if you know me, you know that being a wife and mother is what I have always wanted. Paul said it right too when he wrote "...It is good for them (people) to stay unmarried as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Cor. 7:8-9). AMEN! I couldnt wait to be Mrs. Brian Peterson and put my hands all over him! :)

I have read these verses so many times in the past as a single person, and just thought I fell into the "burn with passion" category and would definitely be married someday. Meanwhile, I just kept loving and growing in Christ. Today as I sit here writing this, I really miss just being a child of God. Instead of babies crying for me, I just want to cry out to God. Rather than pleasing my husband, I want to please God. The responsibilities of being a wife and mother are taxing to say the least.

Here is what I am thankful for: Getting married at 25, so I had so many great years of just being "married" to Jesus. Having a husband who goes to God on behalf of me, our kids, our family and loves him, wants to know him more, reads his word, spends time in prayer and acts as Christian in his day to day. A husband who loves and adores me as Christ loves the Church. The blessing of meeting Brian, falling love and realizing I didnt want to live this life on earth without him. The blessing of getting pregnant and having three healthy, beautiful babies. The promise that this life is not the end, but that eternity in heaven awaits me :)