BIG Decision to Make

For the last several months I have been researching, studying and basically consuming myself about infant vaccinations. This all came to be b/c for a moment in time about five months ago,I was concerned about Jacob's development. Now I admit, I am definitely a person who assumes right away, makes initial comments without all the facts, and worries a ton! So, to say that Jacob wasnt developing "normally" was completely in my head and no pediatrician would have backed my presumptuous thoughts that I kept bottled up inside. (To fast forward really quick - Jacob is a perfectly active, sweet, smiley and curious 10 month old who loves his mama more than anything!). But...I am glad that these thoughts were provoked because it allowed my eyes to be opened to the potentially harmful and unproven effectiveness of vaccinations.

When Caleb was a baby these thoughts never came close to entering my mind. I would take him to the doctor to be weighed, measured and given his shots...because that is just what you do. I really never even thought that I was doing something healthy or good for him, I simply just thought is was the law or something. When the twins came along, it was all the same thing. They have been vaccinated through 6 months and Caleb's last vaccination was at 18 months. But even still with that, the twins have so far each received 14 shots and Caleb, 23.

Seeing those numbers written stirs up a lot of anger inside. I cringe every time I think about the injections I decided to give my children. Knowing all the dangers that these shots pose, I feel it is far more safe to suspend them indefinitely, rather than schedule them and face the unknown of what could happen. The main potential diagnosis being autism. The other factor is the lack of effectiveness.


As the days have passed since I first made the decision along with Brian, I have only felt stronger and stronger about our decision to halt the vaccines. There are just too many unknowns about the dangers of them and I will not have my kids be experimental guinea pigs just because they happen to be born into this generation that still does not know what is causing the increase in autism and tons of other childhood diseases for that matter.

As parents, we go the extra mile to buy organic food, breastfeed and buy the safest car seats for our kids, (because we have done those positive studies & research) yet we turn around and inject them with brain injuring needles that can harm them for the rest of their lives. We just have to be more aware and ask questions about why we do what we do! DO THE RESEARCH - it is there!

I really believe our diets have much to do with the increase in cancer, arthritis, Parkinson's, etc. but I will save those thoughts for another post. I know this is a controversial issue and some may not agree with it, but for my family this is our choice. We are living in a world that is sicker than it has ever been - a world that is falling apart in so many ways and this is one of the ways I feel I can protect my kids - as "oxymoronish" as that sounds.

God placed it on my heart to continue the research I have done and I believe 100% that He is protecting my kids from something horrible. I understand that tomorrow is always full of the unknown, but as I continue to trust in God, I know that he is doing his will and his best for our family.

Wanna Talk?

I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. I have been day-dreaming about how it would be and when it might happen. Well, this morning, November 26th, it happened!

We have the cribs in the twins' room situated across from each other on opposite walls. It is the only way all the furniture would fit into that tiny 10 x11 room anyway. This morning as usual, I heard commotion coming from the nursery with Tessa's voice (cry) resonating the loudest - BIG SURPRISE! :) I walk in to find both babies standing up, holding onto the crib rail, looking and "talking" to each other! It was priceless! Tessa was moaning at Jacob as if to say, "Can you please get me out of here?" And sweet Jacob stood there, smiling through his pacifier at her, probably wondering when she might calm down.

When they both saw me come through the door, Tessa cried louder and Jacob smiled wider. I have very different personalities on my hands. Next time I will grab the camera and post a picture. They are so precious!

Thank You For The Ranch

It is pure joy becoming a parent. You enter a new and profound arena of life that you knew existed, but could have never understood unless this tiny child came to be yours. I also consider it pure joy knowing my savior, Jesus Christ as I venture through this earthly portion of my existence. Without his clear direction for what this life on earth is, I would be a lifeless embodiment, floating through on my way to nowhere. It is all because of Jesus, we are alive and this daily belief and living pours over into our children.

Two nights ago I prepared one of my family's favorite meals, chicken croissants. I paired them with some raw veggies and and side of Ranch dressing. As we sat down to eat,

Caleb says: "We need to pray."

Me: "Okay, would you like to pray tonight?"

Caleb: "Yes."

Caleb: "God...thank you for our food. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you that Jesus rose from the cross. Thank you for the Ranch. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Yes, the prayer is adorable (the "thank you that Jesus rose from the cross" part is my favorite), but this prayer was a maturating moment in Caleb's relationship with God. As he began his prayer, my eyes began to fill with tears. I looked up at Brian and he had tears streaming down his face, too. For the first time in his life, Caleb really spoke to God from his heart. Nothing was rehearsed, nothing was silly. It was a real, raw, straight from the heart connection with the God of the universe. Every other time Caleb has prayed at dinner it has been the "God is great, God is good" rendition that he has come to know from preschool.

I am in awe in of God. I am amazed that he reaches out and grabs the hearts of the tiniest souls and draws them to himself. I really wonder at three years old how Caleb perceives God. Does he understand that God is everywhere even though he cant see him? Does he really get that Jesus was the man in flesh that embodied God the father when he was present on earth? Does he comprehend that God loves him more than Brian and I could ever accomplish?

I do know that he has incredible faith and trust. He believes that God is real. He sees Jesus through Brian and I (though faulty) and wants to be like us so much. Thank you, God for Caleb William Peterson and his heart so full of wonder and belief...and thank you for the Ranch.

Creepin' & Crawlin'

I have waited a week to post this because I have been patiently awaiting my sweet Tessa to begin the independent milestone of crawling, but to date it has not "really" happened, so I will brag on Jacob.

The poor bugger has literally been on hands and knees since the end of September with no luck. He has gone backwards, scooted, collapsed, rocked and rolled, and he was finally victorious on Friday, November 7th - the day after Caleb's 3rd birthday. He was slow going, but was definitely in the right direction, now, just 10 or so days later he is, of course, all over the house! It is fun to watch him go. His favorite thing is to move toward a piece of furniture, hoping to pull himself up and in the last day he has been successful. Brian had to lower his crib b/c he is pulling himself up to stand. He just loves the independence - you can see it in his smile.

Now Tessa...I still am trying to figure her out. She can be the more outgoing twin, but on the flip side she can be passive and quiet. She usually lets Jacob pulls toys away from her without much of a fight. In the last week she has managed to go from an "on all fours" position to sitting up. I am so proud of her b/c that takes a lot of strength....but this is now deferring her from crawling b/c if she gets on her hands and knees, she immediately sits up on her little booty!

The exciting thing that happened last night was that she kind of crawled, but it looked like a motion that Gollum from Lord of the Rings would do. We set out Brian's keys quite a ways away from her and she motioned forward, got into a splits position (the legs in a V one) and kind of scooted herself to the keys. She made it - in a very interesting fashion, but she made it! Caleb never did get the "traditional" crawl down. He always had one knee down and one foot down - to each his or her own.

In other milestones, Caleb now spells his name if asked. C-A-L-E-B.com. It is hilarious, don't know where the .com came from, but kids are funny - they just do and say silly things. Jacob began clapping his hands over the last 4-5 days and you can tell how proud of himself he is! Tessa is now beginning to pull herself up to stand. She did it today in her crib at preschool, so tonight we will need to lower her crib more than Brian did over the weekend. She is so tiny and to see her stand and pull up is just crazy. I imagine in the next week my Angelic Angelfish will become Crawly Crabs. Oh, and Caleb just graduated to the 3 year old class, Salty Seals.

He's 3!

What a heartbreaker! My little man turned the BIG 3 yesterday. I am so proud to be his mama. Caleb has brought me so much joy, laughter, challenges, inspiration and most of all LOVE. The day Caleb came into this world was the most indescribable, incredible, exciting day of my life. I am convinced that nothing will ever compare to that experience. I have been a changed woman since my precious Caleb was born. I am in awe of his physical being, the sound of his voice, his intelligence, his playfulness and his love of experiencing something new.

It is amazing how much is learned and how much he has grown in three short years. He says and recognizes letters (not all of them yet), can count to 20 with ease, knows all of his shapes and colors, recites books, speaks very articulately, draws circles and the letter C while attempting others, dresses himself, is potty trained other than a Pull Up at night, and gives love and affection to his younger siblings. He has also memorized four different Bible verses: 2 Timothy 4:7, Genesis 1:1, Proverbs 3:5 & Isaiah 41:10. He is really becoming quite a young man.

Thanks be to God who handpicked Caleb to be my son. It has not been easy, but it has been the greatest adventure of my life. I sincerely look forward to all his years to come, seeking God's wisdom, strength and patience to show Caleb what this life is all about - Jesus!

Thanks to my good friend Carrie Fay for capturing this shot of Caleb in our kitchen just two weeks before his third birthday. In this photo I see quite a young man. I see the gentle and sweet husband of a wonderful wife. I see a dad so much like his own, who loves his kids more than life. I see a man in love with Jesus.

P.S. Update from the previous post: Battery was never recovered, but the x-ray confirmed that it is somewhere in the El Mirage sewer system.

You've Got To Be Kidding, Right?

Okay, so this entry is pretty serious, but apparently not as important as my High School Reunion, since that is what I unraveled first thing Monday morning...

Most of you are all aware of Caleb's personality - a dare devil at heart, throwing caution to the wind with no sense of danger or how a simple action he takes could have a detrimental effect on his little life...(I kinda love that about him, though!). But this past Sunday he really scared Mommy and Daddy and we landed ourselves in the E.R.

We were driving over to Auntie B's house on the 101 when Caleb says: "Where did it go?"

Brian: "Where did what go?"

Caleb: "The battery?" (He was holding a toy car that held three of those round batteries, much like you would find in a watch).

Brian: "Caleb, did you open your car and lose the battery?"

Caleb: "Where did it go?"

Brian: "Caleb, where is the battery?"

Caleb: (Just slowly points to his mouth)

Me: (Begin dialing Poison Control)

Brian: "Caleb, did you swallow the battery?"

Caleb: "Yes."

So, we pull over off the freeway and Brian begins to search the car for all three batteries, hoping that Caleb just said he swallowed it - but didnt. Unfortunately, only two of the three batteries are recovered. In the meantime, Poison Control is telling us we need to go to E.R. to get an X-Ray to make sure the battery is going down the right path, and not getting stuck somewhere.

We roll into Arrowhead hospital and luckily we were in and out in just over an hour. The X-Ray definitely confirmed the truth Caleb was telling us.

I am kinda just having fun with this now, knowing that he is okay. My first thought was he was going to have some toxic level of battery acid spill inside him and that is why I called poison control - not true. Their main concern is that he passes it. Well, let me just tell you how much fun the last few days of that has been - NOT FUN. But I suppose when you are a parent, you roll up your sleeve, put the plastic glove on your hand and search for the long lost battery that will eventually exit your 2 year old son's body. As of today, Thursday, he has not passed the sucker, so if he doesnt pass it by tomorrow, we will be going back into the E.R. for another X-Ray to "find" it. I guess there are a few spots in the large intestine where foreign objects that should have never entered the body in the first place can get stuck. So, I am really hoping it comes out tonight or tomorrow morning. I think I might resolve to offer him some mineral oil in his chocolate milk today...

Honestly, I am really surprised we didnt end up in the E.R. earlier than this with Caleb - but for sure I thought it would have been for some sort of broken bone. I am thankful he is okay and will write an update after the battery leaves his body in some way, shape or form.

98! 98! 98!

I can hear the chanting of the numbers still in my head as all four classes collaborated in the high school gymnasium for the latest pep rally, each class supporting their graduating year. (The chanting of 98! was always the loudest). In high school I was full of school spirit and an insane amount of hormones. My memories are lovely - great friends, cool teachers, fun dances, honor roll, NHS, Softball, Algebra & French class and of course Tyler Mehlhorn. The love of my then life. My home life was another story, so school and friends were surely my positive escape.

Over the weekend, I celebrated my 10 year high school reunion. For some reason I have been looking forward to this night for 10 years. I had a such a great high school experience and couldnt wait for this night to finally arrive. I still keep in touch with a few great friends and we all met up beforehand and went in together. The room was very empty when we first arrived, but quickly began to fill with familiar faces. I checked in and pinned the nametag above on my shorts - too funny! All in all there were about 100 people to show out of a class of 473 - yes I remember the number of graduates. I was proud of myself for making conversation with people I hadnt see in 10 years (although that really isnt a weakness of mine). I only sat down to eat my pre-fab taco meat Mexican dish (barf!) and mingled the rest of the time. Of course, most people huddled around the bar the entire night, but I was able to have some good conversations and laughed at recollections from a decade ago.

While we ate, our class president grabbed a mic and announced that there would be four awards given out: Person who lives the farthest from AZ, Person who has been married the longest, Person with the most children and Person who has changed the least. I won one of the awards, in a tie-breaker. There were several of us with three children, but since I was the blessed one to have twins, I got to take home the cheap, tacky blue ribbon button that is a walking advertisement for Great Reunions.com. (I felt proud, though!).

All in all, it was a fun night. I am glad I went. Before the night arrived I resolved not to put anyones cell number in my phone or write down anyones email address. I am not one of those "oh, yeah, we should totally get together - I'll call you" people. The fact is, I am such a busy working wife and mom that I dont have time to even talk to the friends who are currently in my life. For the record, I didnt see much of that happening anyway, so others must feel the same. I will rate my night as an 8 out of 10 and look forward to the 20 year reunion.

Splits!

This afternoon I witnessed something I didnt think any 8 month old could accomplish. My sweet tiny, less than 25 inch long Tessa managed to do the splits! It wasnt just the regular splits, legs in a "V" - I am talking Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader splits! She was sitting on the floor in her preschool class when some interesting toy caught her attention. She went to reach for it and decided to place one leg behind her while keeping the other leg straight. It was magnificent - almost like she was trying to show off for everyone in a gymnastics competition! I was so wishing I had my camera with me...so to all of you reading this, just use your imagination. If I happen to catch her doing it again, I will try to get a picture.

Homecoming!

King David rejoicing in God's strength, joy and eternal victory:

O Lord, the king rejoices in your strength. How great is his joy in the victories you give! You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. You welcomed him with rich blessings and placed a crown of pure gold on his head. He asked you for life, and you gave it to him - length of days forever and ever. Through the victories you gave, his glory is great; you have bestowed on him splendor and majesty. Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence. For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High, he will not be shaken.

- Psalm 21:1-7

I cant help but read these verses King David wrote so many years ago and get emotional about our 3 year old nephew, Zachary who is on his way home from the hospital after 10 days ago, having a very delicate and intense heart transplant surgery. He is doing fantastic and is proof that miracles still happen - maybe not like the miracles in Jesus' time with turning two fish and one loaf of bread into food for 5000, but still a huge miracle just the same.

We praise God in the good times and bad and we lift up our requests to him daily. Thank you, Jesus for knowing every detail of who we are. Thank you for hearing our prayers and answering the deepest cries of our souls. Thank you for the gift of children (you yourself were and are the greatest child born of God that the world will ever know). We can only know love because you first loved us. And Father, only you can truly understand what it means to love a child.

Addison Road's "Hope Now"

If everything comes down to love, then just what am I afraid of? When I call out Your name, something inside awakes in my soul...how quickly I forget I'm Yours. I am not my own, I've been carried by You, all my life. Everything rides on hope now. Everything rides on faith somehow. When the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free.

When my life is like a storm...rising waters, all I want is the shore. You'll say I'll be okay, can make it through the rain. You are my shelter from the storm. Everything rides on hope now. Everything rides on faith somehow. When the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free.

I am not my own, I've been carried by You all my life. Everything rides on hope now. Everything rides on faith somehow. So when the world has broken me down, yeah, Your love sets me free.

Youve become my heart's desire. I will sing Your praises higher. Cause Your love sets me free. Your love sets me free. Your love sets me free.

Where in the World Are the Petersons?

The goal of this life here on earth is to surrender to our Creator. To believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for the sins of the world, believe that he rose from that bittersweet death and believe he is now in heaven reigning with God the Father. When you believe in Jesus and pray to ask him into your heart - to take over your life, you become saved from yourself. In that moment, Jesus' death and resurrection actually become personal and real to you!

In this world that is so evidently falling apart (as the Bible predicts) we live in peace, knowing that God is in control, believing that he knows all about it - he predicted it through different prophets in the Bible.

If one day we are gone along with millions of others, we have gone to heaven to be with Jesus, as the Bible says. The reason we are gone is because we gave our hearts to Christ and believed he was and is the savior of the world.

If you will believe in Jesus now and give your whole life to him, you can avoid the wrath of God in the End Times when all the Christians have disppeared. This life is not about us - not about getting married, having kids, having stuff, or being happy, but about serving the one true God of the universe.

Preaching out...

This is a Jam!

A cute Caleb story driving home last week that I must share:

We were driving down the road and there was a song on the radio I didnt care for, so I turned the station to the familiar one we usually listen to (KLOVE, 105.5 FM). The song on that station was the new one by Toby Mac featuring Kirk Franklin and Mandesa - kind of a fast, rapping song.

Caleb: Mommy! I want to praise God!
Me: Yes, honey, me too! We are praising God.
Caleb: This song is not God! This song is not Jesus!
Me: Yes, it is honey, listen to the words.
Caleb: No, Mommy! This is a jam!
Me: (Laughing inside so hard - oh he is so precious!) Well, Caleb, we are jamming for Jesus!
Caleb: (Begins to bop his head up and down to the music)

Pink Eye, Fever, Pink Eye, Sore Throat, Pink Eye & Pink Eye

I think that about sums up what has been going on in the house over the last 2 weeks. (So my posts two posts ago was not a foreshadowing of what was on the horizon). It was actually the exact opposite. Oh, and Caleb has a gigantic spider bite or something on his waistline. I hope all my friends and family are staying healthy, although I understand the Pink Eye thing is running rampid across the Surprise region!

Danny's Song (For My Mom & My Dad)

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, and we've just begun,
Think I'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove, conceived in love,
Sun is gonna shine above.

Seems as though a month ago I beta chi, never got high,
Oh, I was a sorry guy.
And now a smile, a face, a girl that shares my name,
Now I'm through with the game, this boy will never be the same.

Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign, strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now I see a family where there once was none, now we've just begun,
Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun.

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy, take her home,
Don't you live alone, try to earn what lovers own.

And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

On The Mend

I have not been avoiding Blogger, but just havent been at work, or been here and just way too busy. The last week to 10 days has been sicky wicky in the Peterson household. Tessa kicked it off first a month ago with a double ear infection, than Jacob got a double ear infection accompanied with a rattling chest (meds. and a breathing treatment for him). Then my sweet Tessa developed a high fever lasting four days with the high temp. up to 103.7 at times. (She ended up with a tooth). Then, in the midst of her high fever, Caleb came home last week with the worst Pink Eye I have ever seen! So...I missed three days of work, experienced a lot of anxiety and was absent from my Internet connection! As of now, everyone is back in preschool with Caleb needing two more days on his eye drops. I am thankful we are all feeling good again.

Nothing too new happening right now. The twins are sitting up without support and doing lots of babbling. Brian got Caleb a cheap set of plastic hockey sticks and rubber balls from Toys R Us since hockey is his new little obesssion after watching The Mighty Ducks 100 times over! (Sigh), But his defiant little nature has not subsided...only getting worse. "Caleb's poor attitude must decrease or the spankings will increase"...my own little version of John 3:30. Nonetheless, I love my kiddos and we are all blessed today and my household is in love with the Lord!

Inadequate at Best

I would say I am a generally happy person - I am filled with the Holy Spirit and have the joy of the Lord! But becoming a mommy to three little people has simply happened to me (and happened fast!). I no longer live only for the responsibility of only me, but I have three little hearts who depend solely on Brian and me to give them nourishment, time and love. Three little mouths to feed, three little bottoms to clothe, three sets of hands to wash and three little (big) temperaments to calm and restore on a daily basis.

It can really get the best of me - and sad to say, it usually does. I so desire to be this "supermom" - to have time AND energy for everything, but when I look at the messy kitchen floor or the piles of dirty laundry or Caleb whining for his sippy cup of chocolate soy milk or the twins screaming for yet one more thing that they have to scream for b/c they cant talk - I just lose it! I am not even close to a supermom - I am inadequate at best. I have never been to known to have a temper, but I find myself yelling at Caleb more than ever, raising my voice to Tessa and Jacob, desiring an answer as to why they are crying this time! And all for what? What does that solve - where does that get me? It only upsets the three tiny little hearts I give nourishment, time and love to. I need so much help in the area of patience.

I hate that my break for the day is work, but it is. I miss my kids and hubby all day, but when the late afternoon comes and we all get home, all hell breaks loose b/c someone needs attention, someone needs a bottle, everyone is hungry, someone needs to pick up, a phone call needs to be made, someone needs a snack, etc. I have this ideal of what I want my day to look like when I get home from work, but it never quite translates correctly!

I guess this is what life is all about and you take those special moments and cherish them b/c one day I suppose I will miss the demands of little hands, when they are no longer under my roof. When I can no longer feed their mouths or clothe their bottoms or wash their hands or calm their tempers. Thank you Lord for this season in my life - the season when you have made me a mommy. Thank for you the moments when I feel inadequate - I know then that I need your strength, peace and patience to push me along.

I Need to Jam to the Music!

On the way home from preschool the other day I took a call from Brian, so I turned down the music to hear. All of the sudden Caleb is screaming something from the backseat and I cant make out what it is. The intensity of his voice increases, so now I think he is hurting or in trouble or something, so I tell Brian I will see him at home so I can give all my attention to Caleb. Well, after asking him two more times, I finally realize what he is saying, "Mommy, I need to jam to the music!"

I quickly turned the volume back up and I see his large head "jamming" to the beat of Mercy Me in my rear view mirror! What a precious moment. He always has loved his music. In fact, he insisted on watching one of his Bluegrass DVDs this morning. But he had to find just the right one. He said, "Mommy, I want to watch Vince Gill." I love my little music monster!! :)

Funny Bugs & Princesses

Caleb began his new class for the Fall at The Little Gym last night. I was slightly apprehensive b/c we decided to move him up to the 3-4 year old class (nicknamed the Funny Bugs!). My little fearless jumper/climber is ready for more of a challenge, but when you graduate to the 3-year old class, you lose out on having mom and dad in the giant room with you. Well, he did AMAZING! It was such an emotional moment for me, watching his new teacher take his hand and lead him into the room with kids who just tower over him. Caleb wont be three until the beginning of November, but after watching him listen and follow directions for the entire hour, the Director and new teachers all agreed that he is definitely ready! I was so proud and so excited watching him attempt all the new tricks. He only had one little stumble that called for a mom kiss and drink of water, but right back into the giant gym, he went! Grandpa got to the be there too, for his first class as a Funny Bug.

So this morning, I am in my usual "running late" mode trying to get three kids ready for preschool and myself ready for work. Caleb has been waking up at 5:30 a.m. for months now so trying to keep him occupied for 2.5 hours in the morning is a challenge. One of the last things I had to do this morning before walking out the door was put on some bottoms! Caleb walked in my room and was really getting ancy so I put him on the task of finding mommy some pants. After a few choices that were not even close to matching the shirt I had on (bless his heart), I picked out a white skirt and said "what about this?" He saw this skirt, and said "Mommy, you look like a princess!" My heart just melted! I have the sweetest little Peety in the world!!

SURPRISE!

We just returned home yesterday morning from Michigan where paid a surprise visit to Brian's mom for her birthday! It was really nice - we stayed eight nights and nine days and the weather was just incredible. We spent time outside every day and night going on walks, swimming, playing at the park, roasting marshmallows around a fire pit, at the Detroit Zoo, the Big Rig Gig and just sitting in the beautifully manicured kelly green lawns of the mid-west. No ants, no heat, no worries. But the itchy mosquito bites I brought home with me - I could surely do without.

The plane rides there are back were interesting. Brian and I each with a twin on our laps and a Caleb in the middle! I definitely saw the inside of the airplane bathroom more on this trip than I have in my entire life as a flyer. I think towards the end Caleb realized that if he told me he had to go pee pee, it allowed him out of his seat and ability to run the aisles - smart little beast he is! Apparently even The Sandlot loses its appeal on the portable DVD player after 20th time or so....

Poor little bugger (Jacob) got Roseola on the trip. He broke out in a high fever for a few days and we all thought he was just teething until the hundreds of tiny pink bumps appeared all over his trunk. I had heard about this from my sister a few years back, but called my ped. to give her the symptoms just to make sure and sure enough, she confirmed my suspicion. There is nothing you can do as it is a virus, but I really felt bad for the little guy b/c he has been extra fussy the last 4-5 days. As I mentioned in a previous post, he just doesnt like to be away from home. This is our last trip for a while! Traveling with infants is NOT EASY!

I am so glad I have in-laws I adore. I had a such a great time and they all loved seeing their grandkids, niece & nephews. I hope can get back there one more time before the twins turn two - still fly for free under two!

A Weekend @ Del Mar

Thanks to Auntie B, we spent a wonderful weekend soaking up the sun in Del Mar, CA over the weekend. Caleb just LOVED the ocean ( I need to post some pics) and couldnt get enough of the sand and waves! He also had a blast at the pool and riding his beach cruiser bike down the big paved hill toward the condo where we stayed. One of the highlights of the trip was getting to spend some time alone with Brian after the kids went down. We had a late dinner one night and took a drive & had Starbucks the next night. It is really tough traveling with kids (especially infants), so having that time alone was priceless. We must have a travel bug this summer b/c we have been gone a lot and we have another trip planned next week that will go unmentioned for the time being.

The car ride home was hard - it usually is for some reason. Jacob screamed like someone was inflicting pain upon him, for over an hour NONSTOP! The poor kid just couldnt fall asleep on his own - he was so tired! I have come to the conclusion that he really doesnt like to be away from home. He doenst nap at all when we're gone and just isnt himself. So our next few trips will be interesting. It gets me really anxious and impatient and I dont like that about myself - but it is really hard to stay calm when the screaming is literally blood curdling!

All in all we are having a fabulous summer, despite the heat. The twins turned 6 mo. yesterday - this time it is going by fast! I look forward to them getting older, not being so needy and being able to play with Caleb, but I know I will look back see this "infant" time went by too quickly.

On The Move!

I am happy and sad all at the same time! Happy because my little ones are making milestones, but sad that these are my last babies and I won't have this ever again! Last night Little Miss Tessa Jean Renee scooted on her butt/back, pushing with her legs clear across the living room. She was placed on the bobby by me and quickly & easily scooted backwards across the living room rug until she reached the tile. She would have kept going, but we stopped her before her tiny head hid the hard tile. She is such a wiggle-worm and soooo opposite of her bigger, super laxed twin. I just love to see her little personality come out in things like this! She is so adorable. It is also cool to witness things in second, and in my case, third children. Caleb was very determined and did everything early, but he never once attempted "the backward scoot"! I am also curious to know that she did this at 5 1/2 months old. My prediction is that she will sit-up, crawl and walk before Jacob - and rightly so! She was born one minute earlier; she'll accomplish everything first! (and that is totally her attitude so far...)

What I Miss, What I Know & Where I'm At

Oh, Paul was such a wise man:

"It is good for a man not to marry...I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband ((and kids), parentheses mine.). I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (His first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 7, verses 1 & 32-35).

In my immature, three and a half years of marriage (with three kids to boot), I am finding this passage that Paul wrote so many years ago to be not only true, but genius! I suppose Paul can write such a thing since he was once married (although that is up for debate among Bible scholars, and I am not going to pretend to be one of them - I just think it clarifies his ex-matrimony b/c he had such wisdom in knowing it is better to not be married. How could he make such a claim unless he had experienced both?).

My point here is that I miss the time I was able to spend with God when I was single, even married for that matter. I am so consumed every minute of every day with my precious kids, my sweet husband, household chores, grocery shopping, what to make for dinner, paying bills, DISCIPLINE, etc. that it leaves little or no time for catching up with my Savior. I am drained, tested and tired all the time. But would I change anything about my life? No way! I know and believe that my life has taken shape this way b/c of God's amazing blessing on me. And if you know me, you know that being a wife and mother is what I have always wanted. Paul said it right too when he wrote "...It is good for them (people) to stay unmarried as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Cor. 7:8-9). AMEN! I couldnt wait to be Mrs. Brian Peterson and put my hands all over him! :)

I have read these verses so many times in the past as a single person, and just thought I fell into the "burn with passion" category and would definitely be married someday. Meanwhile, I just kept loving and growing in Christ. Today as I sit here writing this, I really miss just being a child of God. Instead of babies crying for me, I just want to cry out to God. Rather than pleasing my husband, I want to please God. The responsibilities of being a wife and mother are taxing to say the least.

Here is what I am thankful for: Getting married at 25, so I had so many great years of just being "married" to Jesus. Having a husband who goes to God on behalf of me, our kids, our family and loves him, wants to know him more, reads his word, spends time in prayer and acts as Christian in his day to day. A husband who loves and adores me as Christ loves the Church. The blessing of meeting Brian, falling love and realizing I didnt want to live this life on earth without him. The blessing of getting pregnant and having three healthy, beautiful babies. The promise that this life is not the end, but that eternity in heaven awaits me :)

A Poopy Weekend!

I will have to post some pics after I get them uploaded for this entry b/c the 4th of July weekend was so eventful! We went to my Nana and Papas cabin in Show Low and just had a blast. The weather was perfect and the activities were plentiful. It was so sweet watching Caleb enjoy things and do things for the first time. Brian and I were saying that one of the greatest joys of being a parent is watching your child do something for the first time and also witnessing them get over their fears of things in this world.

He had such a great time! He played outside all weekend, including driving his very first race car (with Daddy & Grandpa really driving) and riding on a horse! He raced popsicle stick boats down a creek with his cousin Bella and flew a Spiderman kite in the rain. It was such a retreat! (and the help we received with all three kids from family was priceless!).

So, the "poopy weekend" title, you may be wondering? Well, the highlight of the whole weekend was when we returned from our trip and Caleb went poop in the potty chair for the first time! It was so cute - Brian went in there with him with a really positive attitude (even though every other time, the attempts have failed). He first had Caleb spray some air freshener, then he plopped down on the seat while Brian began reading him a book about diggers, fire engines and roaring rockets. The next thing you know, the bathroom filled with the sweet aroma of poop and we were so thrilled! That's our boy! He was proud, but only b/c Brian and I were so proud. he really acted like he had been doing it all this time :) We'll see what's to come - I know it will be baby steps.

I Slept With a Vacuum Cleaner Attachment Last Night

Seriously. I woke up to find the thing nicely nestled between my legs. All I can assume is that my precious, mischievous Caleb had something to do with it! And at the end of the day, I always collapse into bed out of an insane amount of fatigue, so needless to say, I wasnt exactly looking for any sort of suction device to land under my covers.


So, I just have to post this picture of Caleb. Last week he found a pair of Tessa's pants (size 0 - 3 months) and decided it would be a good idea to wear them. I cant believe they actually fit (kind of) and werent skin tight! Too funny!

Looking forward to the weekend! Every 4th of July we stay with my Nana and Papa at their Cabin in Show Low to escape this horrific heat and enjoy the holiday with good smellin' pine trees and family! Caleb always has a blast b/c he gets to play outside! (not something he can do this time of year in Phx, and today the high will be 112!).

Okay, back to work and one of the babies needs to nurse...

9 hours

of sleep! 8:45 p.m. - 5:45 a.m. exactly! No middle of the night crying, no bathroom breaks, no interruptions. Last night was incredible peaceful bliss. I honestly dont recall the last time I got that much sleep (probably before I got pregnant with Tessa and Jacob). I woke up energized and happy - woo hoo! I also worked out at the gym last night (courtesy of a free guest pass from my awesome friend Janelle!). That may have added to the increase in energy. I think that is all I want to write today - just bragging about my great night of good, hard sleep!

Worth It

My heart feels like it breaks a little more every day because of my strong-willed, totally defiant, completely disrespectful, fun-loving, sweet as pie two year old, Caleb. I am almost in tears right now because Brian and I just dont know what to do anymore.

He is on the verge of out of control...and he is two!! He doesnt listen, talks back, throws everything, hits me, kicks me, demands things...the list really just goes on and on. The thing that is so incomprehensible is that Brian and I ARE parents who follow through. He is disciplined every time he does something that calls for it. (which happens too many times daily to count). He just doesnt care! How did this happen? I definitely did not sign up for this! I think when you decide to have a baby you are wrapped up in planning the pregnancy, setting up the nursery, baby showers, baby smiles & giggles, etc. - not the extreme behavior issues you will encounter when your perfect little sweetie turns two and therefore turns into a little monster.

This morning's routine was all the same and b/c Caleb didnt want to put on his shoes and socks, he proceeded to kick me in the stomach and tell me "no!" Well, after his poor attitude and behavior all weekend, I had had enough and spanked him harder than I have ever spanked him before. (This is why my heart breaks!) I dont want to spank my child, but without it, I dont believe he will ever correct his temperament or behavior. Here are a few incredibly intelligent sentences from Dr. Dobson's book, The Strong Willed Child. I own the book, but I need it memorized....

"When that nose-to-nose confrontation occurs between generations, it is extremely important for the adult to display confidence and decisiveness. The child has made it clear that he’s looking for a fight, and his parents would be wise not to disappoint him! Nothing is more destructive to parental leadership than for a mother or father to equivocate during that struggle. When parents consistently lose those battles, resorting to tears and screaming and other signs of frustration, some dramatic changes take place in the way they are seen by their children. Instead of being secure and confident leaders, they become spineless jellyfish who are unworthy of respect or allegiance."

Brian and I really like to explain things to Caleb in a semi-adult manner b/c he is so darn smart and we know he understands us. We tell him that God put mommy and daddy in charge of him and God is in charge of mommy and daddy. And when Caleb obeys mommy and daddy, he is obeying God - and that makes God smile. Caleb really has such a huge heart and I realize this is a season, a test and trial for me to grow as a mom and as a person. But sometimes I really feel like I just cant do it. I am being pushed to the max by a tiny little person who I love more than I could ever explain. Just like God's mercies are new every day with us, my mercies with Caleb are new every morning too! I need God's patience and love as I continue on this path of parenthood. So far it is getting harder, but as the cliche says "Nothing in life that is worth it, is easy." I really believe that.

Baby Boom!

Everybody's pregnant!

I swear, almost all of my friends are pregnant - Shannon, Tasha, Steph, Holleigh, Meghan, Mikki, (Carrie Fay, too!). Two of these fabulous woman are actually having twins! I am sure if I know you and you are not pregnant, you either just had a baby (including myself), are thinking about having a baby or are actively trying to have a baby! Heck, the economy sucks, gas prices are sky high and everyone's broke - it must be time to reproduce! I must have attended at least 10 baby showers, including my own, in the last 6 months alone!! CRAZY!! Gotta love our sweet miracles from heaven...

Speaking of babies, mine are getting so big!! It is already so hard to believe that just 4 and a half months ago they were only 5 pounds 10 ounces and 5 pounds 12 ounces, Tessa & Jacob, repectively. Here is a picture of the cuties from Memorial Day weekend at my Nana and Papas cabin in Show Low (where it was snowing!!)

Look at that coy, flirty smile on my "oh so innocent" daughter! What a heartbreaker - she already has her daddy and grandpa wrapped around her finger! :)

Grace for a 2 Year Old

I witnessed something yesterday, something that made my little mommy heart just break because I think for the very first time I was truly disappointed in my 2 and a half year old son. (And I think the level of sadness and disappointment is so strong because I myself am a sinner and have similarly done to others what I am about to tell you he did...)

We were at my sister's house yesterday for Father's Day and overall had a great time. Caleb was playing with his 5 year old cousin Bella pretty much the whole time and loving it. They are both strong-willed children with an innate tendency to lead, so watching and listening to them play is pretty funny when they both want to tell each other how it should be - Caleb usually concedes to Bella b/c she is the stronger leader being older, wiser (and the simple fact that he looks up to her). Anyway, for a moment last night I saw how much little ones can pick up on tones, moods and weaknesses. Bella was sitting on her knees on the floor b/c her dad was giving her instruction about something (I dont recall what). It wasnt really even discipline, just a "Bella, you need to listen about...such and such." In that moment, Caleb picked up on the fact that for once he wasnt receiving instruction, so in that moment when he felt strong (and she was vulnerable to her dad's tone), Caleb ran over and kicked her right in the head!

I was floored! The act was sinful and cruel - I saw it in his eyes and knew it in his spirit. Naturally, I talked to him, spanked him and made him apologize, but later I talked with Brian and really realized what had happened. Caleb (literally )kicked her while she was down, to build himself up! In his two year old mind, he felt on top of the world b/c he saw his cousin being talked to and had to show off his pride that he wasnt. Maybe I am over analyzing some playful fun between cousins, but I dont think so. We all have selfish desires and an instinct to place ourselves first above others and at two years old, that is what my son did. I cant say I am any different - (have I ever kicked someone in the head to build myself up?). No, but, I identify so well with the heart and mind Caleb took on in that moment.

Paul writes this in his letter to the Galatians: "So I say live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want....But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control....Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires." (verses 16-17, 22-24)

Thank you Lord for the cross and for your everlasting grace upon my life. Help me live by the fruits of the Spirit when mothering my kids and living my life.

Fevers are no fun!

I am thanking God today for lifting the fever from my sweet baby, Jacob. He ran one beginning Tuesday afternoon up until the middle of the night (Friday morning). I knew it was gone in the middle of the night b/c Tessa always wakes up between 2 - 4 a.m. to nurse and when I went into get her, Jacob was fast asleep and cool to the touch. This is the first fever between the two of them, so I feel blessed. Not sure what the bugger was trying to fight off, but hopefully its gone -although I am sure he wasnt disappointed with the grape flavored Tylenol he received every 4-6 hours! He is back to his happy self...

We have a pretty busy weekend planned and although the busyness doesnt usually allow for much needed housework and laundry to be done, I really like a full calendar. It is especially good for Caleb who always needs to be occupied!! Tonight we have the Diamondbacks game, tomorrow is Caleb's class at the Little Gym (which he loves), tomorrow night I am working a table at church and Sunday is a Happy Father's Day to be the best daddy in the world! We have a really cool car show at church and than we are headed to my sisters house for swimming and pizza. Should be eventful and fun :)

We Just Cant Have Nice Things!

My husband and I say this to each other in a funny Texan accent every time our independent, and not-so-careful two year old destroys something of value in our house. Granted, he's two, but it just seems like more often than not, we are having to replace, revamp or simply get rid of something we once loved. This morning was no exception.

My husband Brian is totally into making fresh fruit smoothies every morning and therefore Caleb "needs" some too. So every morning, Daddy makes him a special cup of that morning's fruit flavor surprise. Well, you can see where this is going already...I had to take the top off his sippy cup this morning b/c Caleb told me "not workin' Mommy" (his way of saying the smoothie was too thick to come out). So, against my better judgement, I took the top off and told him to be extra careful as I watched his every move. A few minutes later I got up to pee and soon heard this screech coming from the living room. Caleb is totally destroyed, sitting next to his pile of fresh fruit smoothie all over my beautiful living room rug, saying "I pill, Mommy!" Yup - you sure did! I suppose it is my fault for letting him have the drink in the living room in the first place, but he cant see Finding Nemo or Cars from the kitchen table and those movies are my only sanity so I can at least take a shower every morning. "We just cant have nice things!" I swear we should buy stock in carpet cleaner!

I digress to the Bachelorette. So I totally have my hubby hooked! Now that American Idol and LOST are over for the season, this is something I can look forward to on Monday nights. So far we are loving the show and have our favorites for who she will choose (Graham or Jason), who is a total dork (Twilly) and who is way too pretentious (Jeremy). Gosh, when did I become such a TV junkie? I guess with three kids under the age of three we spend most nights at home. With summer beginning to pour over us I dont see that changing anytime soon. Ah, well...

First Day

Okay, so I am trying out this blogging thing, considering it is "all the rage" these days! Although at church yesterday I saw a tween walk by with a shirt that said "Nobody cares about your blog." Funny, I laughed!

I figure with three kids under the age of three, a full time job, and being a full time wife, I have a lot to download every day. (I hope the next time I visit this is not 6 months from now when I am having an emotional moment b/c its Christmas time). We'll see...